Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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