Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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