Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
