so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
