he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
