Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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