is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
