No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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