I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
