You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
