dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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