I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
