next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
