Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
