i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
