Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
