woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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