I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
