You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
