He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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