Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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