ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
