He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just invented taco cereal.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
