It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
