Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
