then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
