I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
