dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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