My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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