You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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