ugly people sure do ruin things
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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