i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
