so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
