There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
