So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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