they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
