Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
