then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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