My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
