dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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