My brain says no but my pants say off.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
