I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
