I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
