I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
