Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
