Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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