Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
they need to just BURY HIM!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
