just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
