btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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