pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
