He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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